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User talk:AnniFoxy
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Dark Moon page. Please be sure to read all of the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. You can also read some of the best stories our wiki has to offer by checking out Suggested Reading. Finally, you can check out stories written by authors of the wiki in User Stories. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! ClericofMadness (talk) 05:14, September 18, 2018 (UTC) Helel ben Shahaar (talk) 07:44, September 18, 2018 (UTC) Helel ben Shahaar (talk) 07:08, September 28, 2018 (UTC) Re: Story I would strongly suggest looking over your story in conjunction as you are overlooking quite a lot of issues. There are capitalization, punctuation, spelling, wording, and story issues. Capitalization: You tend to randomly capitalize words and not capitalize proper nouns. "i (I) screamed while shaking with fear.", "i (I) mumbled", "as i (I) got up to drink something.", "But there was something written on the Wall (wall)", etc. Punctuation: You forget to properly punctuate contractions and possessive words. "Naw, whats (what's) wrong?", "My friends(') corpses where in my kitchen and they have been cut into pieces.", etc. Punctuation cont.: Almost all of your dialogue is improperly punctuated (you do not put punctuation outside of quotations). ""Are you scared?", (no comma needed)", ""This is insane!", (should not have a comma)", etc. Spelling: "She was kinda cute though, she had animsls (animal) ears", "I had to cover my eyes because the light was to (too) shiny.", "I cut their head of (off).", "When you fell (feel) your mental health is fading, I will be there", "Your game isn't over jet.", etc. Wording: "Then I heared (heard) someone giggle", "I felt a cold breeze in (on) my neck and someone laughed behind me.", "My friends corpses where (were) in my kitchen and they have been cut into pieces.", etc. Story issues: This story comes off entirely like a vehicle for your OC rather than an actual story. This description is emblematic of the issues here: "she had animsls ears, I think from a fox. They had the same colour as her hair; a light blonde. She also had black wings. She is insane." Story issues cont.: Beyond the fact that the story feels more like an introduction, the plot itself is generic. The 'I don't have much time left, but I'm going to write out my entire experience' trope doesn't really work and has been listed as a cliche/trope to avoid: "If you read this, please send help. The door nearly broke. Oh no. She got inside my room. It's really dusty here. I think I have to" Conclusion: There are other mechanical and story issues, but I think this should be enough to demonstrate why your story was deemed not up to quality standards and give you some areas to focus on. I would strongly suggest getting someone to help you for your next story as these are a lot of errors to overlook (additionally you can/should use the writer's workshop (link above) for your next story. Best of luck! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:39, November 21, 2018 (UTC)